I had an early interest in natural products and alternative medicine. Years before the internet was the useful source of information it is now, you had to go around to bookstores, libraries, and events to learn the good stuff. As soon as I was old enough to drive, I was hunting for information, especially on things like meditation and traditional approaches to healing. Like many people I tried to pursue a path that was “normal”, and I got a degree in Physical Science, which means I studied Chemistry and Physics.
I went through a long period of what I call “logic addiction”. I wanted to find scientific research to validate everything, or I didn’t believe it was “real”. I wanted to understand the facts of the world. I didn’t understand yet that facts aren’t what I thought they were. While we can all agree that gravity keeps the change in our pockets, there are many things in reality that have more to do with our perception, than the facts as I once saw them.
At some point I came across research showing that people who believe in something greater than themselves, were happier. I’m the first to admit I wasn’t very happy. I was an angry volatile person, there’s a reason I was seeking out meditation. I decided that being an atheist was bad for my mental health. I gradually decided that I’d rather be happy than be right. The challenge then was to decide what to believe if I was going to adjust my beliefs.
I felt that doing no harm was a good goal, so I was able to rule out any system of belief that seemed to do harm. I was on the fence about anything that seemed superstitious, at least until I realized that just about everyone I knew held superstitions, whether they could admit it or not. Not really being able to decide based on things that could be charted on a spreadsheet, I decided to start making decisions about these things with my heart. Buddhism seemed like a good fit, but I also believe there is some form of God (actually Goddess, since we associate the feminine with Creation and Love).
Trusting my instincts was new to me, and it took a while to be okay with going through the world like that. I started referring to living in the World of Woo. I used to think of Woo as a bit of a bad word, I used it when I was talking about things I didn’t find credible. Then I changed to seeing the word as representing things that haven’t been validated by science, or things that the mainstream considers weird. Though science is catching up, I now kind of enjoy the word Woo.
I’ve always been a bit eccentric. To me being eccentric means I’ll make decisions based on my own beliefs, and not what society encourages. Being eccentric is being the lady who loves books, and does random creative things, and encourages others to see the seed within them that comes from the Goddess. I typically dress a little different. I wear my hair in ways that don't blend in the corporate world. I think for myself, and I use the wonderful varied experiences I’ve had to paint my world in the brilliant colors of the rainbow.
Coming from Colorado, I've been very influenced by the Southwestern part of the US (Think Durango Colorado, or Santa Fe New Mexico) and I've also been very influenced by Asian beliefs, mostly Thai and Tibetan cultures. These may sound pretty far apart, but they actually make a lovely blend. I have some influence from Europe as well, including Germany since I studied art there at 15 years old. I'm ethnically part Swiss, and part Bohemian (Czech), with some German, Irish and Lord Buddha knows what else mixed in.
Along the line I found out about Traditional Thai Massage, so I went to Thailand a couple of times to study it. It was after visiting Thailand that I finally made a breakthrough with meditation. For me having a real, live teacher made all the difference. It was my experiences in Thailand, especially while living with a Thai family, that I was able to shift my way of seeing the world in a way that was really useful. I began to value superstitions that make you feel like you’re a part of something you feel drawn to. The generosity and kindness of that Thai family made an impression that changed my entire outlook.
A few months before I traveled to Thailand, my father passed away. That day I bought a plane ticket to return to Thailand. I began having dreams about my Dad. These were the kind of dreams that feel more real than when you’re awake. Nothing in my experiences will convince a skeptic that there is life after death, or that the universe is made of love, but it did convince me.
I now believe that the universe is a fabric woven out of love. I believe that while we are here, in physical bodies, that age and become ill, we forget about that fabric, and our connection to the Goddess. We have free will, and so we all make mistakes, some of us do very bad things. We become afraid, worried about survival, worried about being good enough. When we can remember that we are divine, created by the divine, and here to serve a divine purpose, then we reconnect with all that is good.
My preferred ways to remember my connection to all things, are through meditation, and through someone’s smile. My favorite way to take care of my body is Thai Massage. Movement and good food are essential for our bodies to serve us for as long as possible. Love is what makes it all worth while.
With my background in both science and traditional healing, I enjoy integrating modern science with ancient traditions.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. As always, typos are included for your enjoyment. With Love,